Not the best, but happy

I am right now swamped with exams and progress report submissions and two jobs. I am almost always thinking about when I can go home, when I can sleep, when I can get out of school and go on a vacation to Tahiti. On one of the rare occasions that I paid attention in class, an interesting discussion got me thinking. Sam spoke about how important it is to be a first mover in the industry, to carve a niche, make yourself known and then sustain that advantage. Somebody else spoke about how being first needn't always help; it could hurt you bad if you went wrong. Now, there are people and organizations that are willing to take that risk and unless they make a serious mistake, they always succeed. So among all the fast movers and safe followers that I interact with everyday, Where do I see myself? If there was a third category for lazy, yet ambitious, somewhat clueless but sincere people, I'd be one of them.

I didn't follow division in 3rd grade. I never played sports. I don't think my Engineering degree taught me basics very well. I don't see myself turning into an insightful, smart manager very soon. Heck, I don't know what I will do for my exam this week! Did I land here by mistake and do I still have scope for improvement? Although the answer is yes, the question that bothers me really, is if I am ever going to be a "first mover". Is all of what I am trying to achieve even my cup of tea? If it isn't, do I not deserve to be here? And if I didn't, where else would I be right now?

I think I will end up second to someone, no matter where I go. Truth is, it is where I am most comfortable. I am not a slacker, I do not run away from responsibilities. I just lack the drive to be the first at anything I do. I cannot lead scholarly discussions, I do not ask questions aloud. Yet, I am at peace. I do not know if it is complacence and if that is harmful. I just know that I am happy being second. I think, I learn from mistakes, I improvise and survive. Of course, I am grateful to the first movers that help me learn and adapt. I have realized it is more important to be happy where I am, rather than lament over what I couldn't do. Or I have just given up all hope :P Anyway, now, my life's goal is to just be happy; make "being happy" my attitude and not pay attention to where I stand.

Chaya!!

My stubbornest retarded tall friend.. the gang agrees with me on this... she's had four years of training on falling for cute boys and definitions of college-student slang, etc., but I'm not sure she's learned a lot... well i don't blame her either, since all of our failed attempts at finding true love did scare her quite a bit!! But anyway, this post is to congratulate this stubborn stupid tall friend of ours... for she's found love, finally, and without any help from any of us! Which really worries us, by the way... lol...

Congratulations chai... and good luck!! here's wishing you a happy healthy new life... you must soak in every moment, for this time and the way you feel right now, will never come back again! I love you, and I am really sad I will not be around to harrass you this september... I intend to get my revenge later, anyway :P

I am very very very happy for you :)

Life in Ames…

After a few years of teenage angst and praying for self styled “freedom” from home and everything that I thought restricted my movements, I landed in Ames, IA, sort of in the middle of nowhere, as far as all the Indians that throng the West and East Coast here in the USA. Ames, indeed, wasn’t very exciting at first, mostly because it was so far away from home and it didn’t look anything like the USA I had imagined… That’s when I met the whole bunch of loonies I hang out with now and yeah, I must say it feels a lot nicer! I won’t lie to you that it’s all hunky dory here, with roommates and course work and all that responsibility that came with “freedom” that I wanted so badly, but yeah, what is life without good and bad…

Anyway, my journey to the USA was horrendous; I need to post a separate blog about that one. Sudeshna made it endurable though. Then I got home late in the night, and received the best welcome from Sammu and Lavu, offering all the food that they bravely cooked, without any prior experience! The first week went by pretty smoothly; we got our laptops and our phones and experimented on each other by cooking the recipes we looked up on the internet. I met Preetham that week too, and couldn’t get over how overwhelmingly tall he was :P I made a fool out of myself there too, by clumsily forgetting my laptop on Cyride, only to realize and scream and get back in. Preetham didn’t laugh at me that day, I am sure he would if I were to do the same thing now! Late summer and early fall days were pretty good, we geared up for winter, for the horrible course pressure that was coming, met our neighbors, bought our vacuum cleaner together J and cooked for them too (it is no joke to feed 7 hungry Indian men!). And then I got myself a job, met fun people like Curt, Jana and Ben, met best friends Swathi and Chaya over winter break da da da da da da.. my blog’s getting really boring….

Fast-forwarding to today, I think I am finally past the whine-about-everything stage, and have begun to enjoy what God gave me. What I am really trying to say is, after over 7 months in Ames, I am finally beginning to like it here, and feel at home... I’ve made a list of the few things that have brought about this almost-impossible (or I thought) change –

It is fantastic that you get to experience a few seasons in a week’s time here in Ames… I’ve seen snow and groaned, seen rain and danced, felt the warm sun make the brutal cold weather less painful, and also experienced bad blowing winds, all in one week!

I have finally learnt to play jua/taash :P

I’ve gotten better at cooking (this is self proclaimed, no one complains about my cooking so I assumed I must be really awesome)

Sadly,I gave up on trying to look more presentable (at the rate of one day in two months to the gym, I will never lose weight, never! Aaaarrrgh!).

I get up late every morning, rush through the morning routine of brush-poop-pee-bathe, always run to get on the bus and always tell myself I will not repeat this again the next day. It isn’t frustrating, its just really very funny now.

I get to help out some basic computer users and made friends with very old, very cute veterinary doctors J

I still know the best gossip in town, back home in India – in college, at work, in my neighborhood :P

My hair freezes when its wet and I am outside running! And it was pretty hilarious the first time I realized your hair could freeze!

The fact that this city is so quiet, you wouldn’t be able to tell if there was a murder next door.. I do miss the rush and din of Bangalore, but quiet is good.

Free pizza and pop! I love bitti oota!

My roommates, without whom grad school would’ve been drab… and Curt, who helps me out so much!

And I love the corn fields, the bunnies, deer and chipmunks that fearlessly move around regular junta. Street dogs back home scared me to death, street bunnies are a welcome change J

I love paying visits to the sole mall in Ames and watching 3 month old films in an empty movie hall for 75 cents only!

I love love love going to hyvee walmart and target! Mostly to check the weird stuff Americans can buy.. Cooking oil spray and banana saver (you put a half eaten banana in this plastic banana like thing to save it from going black and ugly)!!!!!!

And that is all I have for you, in my first blog. I do not think I will do a great job at being an active blogger, because I think it is such a pain to be able to pour your thoughts out on a Microsoft Word document! But boredom, friends that have grad school pressure mounting on them, and a pain-in-the-ass hudga who’s too busy to listen kind of make you want to start blogging, I guess!

Coming next – a movie review!

Also, a special section on the men I am head over heels in love with!